I really do miss who I was….
Questions and more questions keep swimming through my mind..leaving me sleepless and drowning in doubt…
What should I do, I do not know….
Can life ever be simple, I guess I’ll never know…
Do I make bad decisions or am I stupid and naive?
Do I believe in things that will never be true?
Do I know what I really want to do….. I sometimes wonder….
It felt good!
People wanted to know who I was back then… wanted to read more about my life… and then I just walked away from it completely.
While sitting at my desk today, a slow day for a change, I came across some old links where other bloggers wrote about me way back… It’s been years… and I miss it..
I sit quietly
In the dark
What this life is…
Do I run away?
And never return
Do I have to feel
So empty and sad?
Do I have to live
My life for someone else?
Why can’t I just
Run away from it all….
Isn’t what I expected…
I have lost all excitement of going to work which I used to have…
However, I do have a few plans in place. If all works, hopefully it’ll be okay.
Holding on is always the most difficult part. Sigh.
A silent night
Filled with grief
Brings nonstop tears
To these blind eyes of mine
The heart slows down
The night feels cold
In this dark cold night
Can someone hear me
And understand me
Coz I’m always the one
To be left behind…
I have been horribly sick all of a sudden and a few good friends have been calling and txting and checking up which is a lovely feeling. It’s the effort and caring that really count.
I had to attend a family friend’s dinner party two nights ago. The party started with everyone talking about my dad for over an hour. 11 yrs later people still love and talk about him. It’s heartbreaking and lovely at the same time. I learnt so much about him and myself, the things I had done when I was small and how amazing life had been back then.
Then a very strange thing happened. One of my dad’s best friends from college days who went on to work with him in every office he’s been to when he was young sent me an FB mesg asking if i was his daughter.
Since I didn’t know who it was, I asked mum first and she confirmed that ahe knew this uncle and his wife.
He has been chatting to me about my dad and trying to catch up with everything he has missed. The last time he had seen my dad was in April 1988 before he migrated to another country.
I feel incredibly sad right now. But so proud and happy of the man my amazing father was.
You know the day has been a good one when you can’t sleep coz you feel so happy.
I have waited for it for so long! The wait surely was worth it.
When the happiness lives on till the next day, it’s a beautiful feeling.